Gynecologist, Nidan Clinic, Laxmi Nagar, New Delhi.
Question: I am a 35 year old working woman. For the past few days I don’t feel like having sex. Whenever my husband asks me to have sex, he throws excuses like “I’m tired today, headache today, it’s too much work to wake up tomorrow morning”. My husband is very cooperative, so don’t say anything. Now I feel that if I do this, it should not affect our relationship. I don’t understand what to do? Please solve my problem and tell me why my interest in sex has decreased.
answer : The reason for your lack of interest in sex is a decrease in sex drive. Sex is very important in a marital relationship, it strengthens the relationship between husband and wife. But when sex starts getting away from married life, then the relationship also slowly starts reaching the verge of breaking. However, with the changing times, the libido of women has also changed. Earlier, where such a situation used to come after menopause, in today’s busy busy life, now the sex drive of women has started decreasing only after the age of 30. There are many reasons behind this, such as stress, hormonal changes, negative thinking about your body, depression and anxiety etc.
try to be tension free
As smooth as the life of women was in earlier times, it is not so in today’s time. In today’s time, the participation of people has increased, office and social responsibilities have increased, along with which the busyness and tension have also increased. It has also affected our physical health, mental health and sexual health. Due to the tension between the double responsibilities of work, women are unable to support their husbands during their sexual relationship, due to which it also affects their relationship. In such a situation, try to stay away from tension and you can get relief from tension by doing meditation, yoga, exercise, fulfilling your hobbies and taking the help of music.
give more time to foreplay
Give more time to foreplay during sex. This will increase your libido and you will be able to heartily prepare for sex. So try to spend more time in foreplay before having sex and also try to try new positions in sex. This will bring some newness in sex.
Hormonal changes are also a reason
Hormones also play an important role in sex life. A decrease in the level of estrogen hormone leads to a decrease in sex drive. If there is not enough lubrication in the genitals, then there is a problem during sex. In this case, consult a doctor. Using a water based lubricant also solves the problem.
negative thoughts about your body
Women who have increased obesity, whose height is small, whose confidence about their figure has been shaken, those women who have negative thinking about their body, their interest in sex decreases. Therefore, for the betterment of your married life, it would be good to learn to accept yourself as you are. Anyway, there is no problem like obesity or low height in sex.
Depression and anxiety are also a reason
Depression and anxiety are also one of the reasons for the decrease in libido of women. Sometimes medicines given for depression and anxiety also become a reason for the decrease in sex drive. Therefore, before taking medicine, tell the doctor in advance that they should give you such medicine, which has no side effect or very little.